


Red Eyed Envy

by cloudnine



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Relationship, im so tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 05:18:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6457402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudnine/pseuds/cloudnine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He only sees him as a replacement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Eyed Envy

**Author's Note:**

> just really like the idea of each retainer being together since their lords are but of course, saizo wouldn't realistically have that

The rough footsteps of the prince's boots where the only noticeable sound as they made their way into the corridor of the dark castle. They, since the prince was not alone, his companions by his side who stepped with such lightness that the heel of their feet on the stone floor could only be heard by the man who was accustomed to them.

Ryoma was the only one who noticed the difference with how they walked, Kagero was more refined, elegant in a a way. She strode with her head held high and her posture straight as if to challenge any onlookers to a battle. Saizo was stricter, rougher giving an air of intimidation and unlike Kagero, didn't elicit the response of wanting to provoke people, but to keep them away. It was a tactic he used not only while he guarded Ryoma but on himself as well.

Still, they were more similar, more alike than different. Both refused Ryoma's concern over them, both so involved and dedicated to their duties that they left no time to themselves. Somehow it was this that led to the downfall of their relationship, so preoccupied with their battle tactics and how to protect Ryoma that they realized they were better as merely partners. There was also the fact that Saizo wasn't the nicest person to be around with.

His footsteps stop as they reach their destination, the large black doors showcasing an air of darkness as the whole castle did. "This is a private matter between me and Prince Xander, I understand you know what that means."

There's no actual reason to voice those words since they both already know. Both his retainers nod, bowing their heads to him.

Ryoma gives them a glance before he enters the large doors, briefly closing them without a trace. This was just another occurrence for them as they lean their backs on the wall, arms behind their backs. Staying hours on their feet until their lord finished speaking politics with the other prince was an experience they were used to, even if not accustomed to Nohr's somber exterior. Nohr or Hoshido, no matter where they were, it was still the same to them. Protect and watch over Ryoma. That was their duty. The purpose of their lives.

It was the complete opposite from the Nohrian prince's retainers who come walking by and find them standing by the door. The chaotic girl gives them a long wave with her hand, Kagero giving her a response but Saizo completely ignoring her. The man by her side seemed to find the situation exciting as well, a large grin on his face. Saizo already wished the day would go by faster.

"Wow, all of us together! How exciting!" The multi-colored haired cavalier runs over to them, Kagero specifically. it was strange for Saizo to see her on her feet, much too used to her in battle on her horse, a wicked grin on her face as she sliced enemies and bathed in their blood. He wished he was exaggerating.

"Yes, quite." The more polite Hoshidan says as she allows Peri to take her hands and shake them. "We haven't met in a while."

"I know! I miss our tea time, Kagero! I want to drink matcha tea with you again!"

As the girl practically cries and Kagero comforts her, Saizo ignores the presence of them and the man staring oddly at him.

"Saizo." The man merely says, a polite bow of his head. His smile said otherwise, showing a smug grin at having them meet like this. Saizo ignores the witticism.

"You should at least respond back." Laslow continues, the pompous grin ever present. He and Kagero had shared a mutual stare of welcome which elicited some anger in Saizo's being. He did not care for the crazed girl throwing herself into Kagero's arms, though. She could do what she wanted. The man who spend his free time harassing women is what irritated him.

"Why should I? We're both here out of duty. Cut the pleasantries." Kagero's eyes seem to shut in mild apprehension at Saizo's harsh words. He always had to turn peaceful moments into a confrontation.

"Ouch, the edge in that voice. It felt like it cut through my being." The man bites back, the smugness ever present. His partner seems to hear the word "cut" and detaches herself from Kagero.

"Cut through your being? I want to do that! Will you let me Laslow? Your blood will look so cute on my hands!"

There's an uncomfortable laugh as the man explains to her it was a metaphor, not literally. The girl just stares at him with wide eyes, completely unfamiliar with his words.

Saizo couldn't understand how these two had become Prince Xander's retainers, he never would, no matter how many times people told him it was because of their fighting abilities. He and Kagero exchange a look, hers showing sympathy and his showing disdain but they understand each other well enough as they listen to the cavalier shout questions at her partner.

"Kagero, Laslow is bullying me!" She throws herself into her arms once again and Kagero, caught off guard, merely starts stroking her head with her smooth fingers.

As Laslow starts to shower her with apologizes the door opens, the four of them turning their heads to find their lords looking at them with trepidation. Saizo wouldn't doubt that they had heard their conversations, especially the girl's crying with how loud she was. He overlooks Xander and his eyes strictly stay on Ryoma's, a look of wonder in his brown eyes as he watches the girl cease her sobbing.

Xander clearly was used to his loud retainers as a slight smile appears on his lips at their antics. Ryoma also seemed to find it amusing to see how different they were to his silent retainers. Kagero felt pleased that the meeting seemed to have gone well, sensing the good mood they emitted. Saizo wasn't as pleased.

"You seem to make quite the team." There's an amusement in his voice that Saizo doesn't enjoy, but this being his lord he says nothing. "Retainer meeting retainer, and their contrasting personalities. Its quite pleasing to watch."

Peri having no respect towards any of them, Saizo thinks, practically throws herself into Xander as she exclaims that Laslow was bullying her. Saizo and Kagero watch in astonishment as he eases her crying down with comforting but assertive words.

"Fine, I'll accept Laslow's apology." A slight pout on her face as she speaks, her makeup smeared on her cheeks from the crying. Her past sadness seems to disappear as she flicks her finger on Laslow's forehead, the man in question wincing at the action. They looked like children, and Xander their parent. Saizo couldn't fathom, couldn't understand how Xander could watch them with such a caring gaze. They were supposed to _respect_ him.

"I apologize, Prince Ryoma, and specifically to your retainers. You three must feel so out of place with seeing how they act towards me." Saizo was sure he respected the man more than his own retainers did as he listens to his words idly, Laslow and Peri exchanging banter. Ryoma merely places his hand on his shoulder and Saizo, instead of feeling content with their close relationship, feels a discomfort at how they gaze at each other.

He disregards the feeling, Kagero looking at him like she seems to notice. What he truly wishes is to ask him: Why them? Why two people who didn't seem to respect him at all, who treated him like he wasn't the crowned prince next in line for the throne, anything but their lordship. It made Saizo sick.

"One quickly gets used to Nohr's ways." Ryoma replies, a pleasant addition to his usual infatuating voice. Saizo didn't enjoy watching as the man's hand stayed on his shoulder and they exchanged looks of understanding. "It would still please me to learn more of Nohr's customs."

Saizo's scowl is harsher than usual, even if their conversation showed Ryoma and Xander were in good terms he still did not enjoy Ryoma's sudden interest in Nohr. There's an exchange of agreement before Ryoma announces what Saizo was worried about.

"In fact, we've decided to give you four a break. You deserve the chance to get to know each other better. You two specifically need a hiatus." Ryoma discloses to his already resisting companions. He wouldn't let them deny this, the look he gave them was the one he did when he specified that this was an order, not a choice. Both Kagero and Saizo look away, a noticeable discomfort in their expressions.

"Yes, instead of gifting him with more free time I should discipline Laslow further." The Nohrian prince says with a glare which merely makes Laslow chuckle. "But I'll oblige this one time since you've made the visit all the way here."

Saizo, naturally having a fiery personality, feels like denying the request even with Ryoma's look. This coming from his lord he couldn't, but he still would keep his harsh posture as they exchanged hypocrisies. Before they leave he would ask Ryoma why he felt the need to do this.

"Yay! Me and Kagero can drink tea again!" The girl latches into the female ninja's arm, an awkward sweat in her brow. He knew Kagero was quite fond of the girl, unlike the relationship he had with the womanizer besides him. She didn't seem to mind being obligated to leave Ryoma's side as much as Saizo.

"You're not invited Laslow!" She sticks her tongue and the man feigns offense at those words, but his smiling face showed he wasn't truly angry at her decision. Saizo would think the man would do anything to be in the presence of the two women, instead he seems to understand that Peri wanted to spend time alone with Kagero.

"That's fine, Peri. It's not like I wanted to drink tea with you and Lady Kagero anyways, I'll have a much better time hanging around my mate, Saizo." He moves closer to him and Saizo takes a step away, glaring at him. He would not spend his day on Nohr with the damn Casanova.

"Then it's settled. I hope you enjoy your stay in Nohr, and that my two lowly retainers don't make your day a living hell." Saizo feels like exclaiming that that's exactly what's going to happen, but Kagero and Ryoma's gaze stop him. Only they knew how to control his outbursts from meeting the light of day.

Peri is already dragging a wobbly Kagero outside as Ryoma and Xander stand by the door and continue to speak. Saizo stays rooted to his spot as he awaits to be allowed to speak with his prince; He would not accept this. He couldn't. He hated how dismissive Ryoma seemed of them, like he wanted them gone.

Laslow is at his side, a sheepish look on his face, unsure if he should leave or stay with Saizo like Xander asked him to. The ninja wasn't the best person to be around with but with his sociable personality he's confident that he'll make it work somehow.

Ryoma finally notices Saizo's frown and excuses Xander, saying he had to speak privately with the shinobi. The prince allows him and he as well starts conversing with Laslow, audible awkward laughter coming from him. With them away from ear shot Saizo snaps as controlled as he can.

"I will not spend time with that lowlife. I will also not be leaving your side today."

Ryoma exhales a deep breath, already having expected this. "Saizo, it is not what you want, it is what I ordered. You're always by my side; You never accept my desire for you to take a break from your work, that is why this time I'm forcing you to listen to my orders complacently. You're leaving me alone today and that's final."

Saizo feels like bursting and asking him why he was so decided on leaving Saizo and Kagero alone in Nohr of all places. Why did he want him gone so badly? Did he want to spend time with the other prince alone? Why with him and not Saizo?

He doesn't backtalk him knowing it was his duty to do what the man ordered but he still wouldn't live it down. With one last scoff of disapproval he exchanges a small "Yes, milord." before he walks over to where Laslow is. He gives him a glance and walks away, the mercenary soon following after some uncertainty. Ryoma stares at the man's back, so unused to see it since the man was always behind him or besides him, not in front.

"He's very determined." Xander tells him when Ryoma walks back to him, his arms crossed. He seemed exasperated as well, probably having to scold Laslow on what he wasn't and was allowed to do. The wrinkles on his face when the man got agitated made him look older than he was, Ryoma thinks. He didn't have to deal with two retainers who disregarded his orders except for an exception like today, but Xander must get tired from handling them all the time. It was the complete opposite from him and his retainers, they took care of him and watched over him. Xander had to watch over them as if they were children. He seemed complacent enough about it, and he had choosen them so he truly, probably, enjoyed their company.

It was different from what Saizo was used to, Kagero and he were born and raised to serve the royal family. Peri and Laslow had merely competed against other warriors and Xander saw power in them. Nohr and Hoshido were truly different.

* * *

Laslow sighs contemplatively for what seems the third time that day and Saizo feels his need to silence him increase as he does so. They stood outside the castle, Saizo sitting cross legged with his eyes closed and back straight. Laslow stared at him attentively, but with mostly boredom.

"Are you truly going to spend your free time meditating?"

He waits diligently for Saizo to open his eye and give him a glare. He doesn't. Instead he takes in another deep breath, his nose moving slightly as the dusty air hits his nostrils.

Saizo grunts, and Laslow's head lifts up from almost falling asleep on his feet. He couldn't even waste his time quickly by meditating considering the air here was so dry, cold and dusty. He truly hated Nohr and all its customs, its unreasonable lifestyle, _its people_ , he thinks grudgingly as he finally opens his eye to gaze at the man by his side, Laslow blinking at him rapidly at the attention.

"Finally woke up from your nice dream?" Saizo lets the man continue to speak words he did not care for, only each time he did it added the will to fight him a lot more. He hadn't come here to fight without reason at one of his supposed allies, though. If he did he was sure Ryoma would be disappointed, and the thought of his unsociable nature causing him to continue sending him off made him take deep breaths to control his anger. It was the only way he could control it without Kagero around, the kunoichi probably having the time of her life with the psychotic girl. He couldn't be polite like her or his brother.

"I have nothing to speak to you about." He responds dismissively, hoping the man understood that he did not want to be bothered and that if he continued, it wouldn't end well for Laslow.

Laslow scratches his cheek, his eyes dreary from before. "Hey, it's not just you who doesn't want to be here. Prince Xander would never let me live it down if I escaped." His voice is strangely dull and calm as he mutters those words to him. It seemed he also did not wish to fight.

Saizo's eye twitches as a cold wind hits his face. At least the mask eased the goosebumps a bit.

"Do it. Escape. Go harass some vulnerable woman and leave me be." If Kagero were here she would shake her head in disappointment as Saizo continued to set fire to their tension. Instead of toning down his noticeable anger from before he continues to take it out on the mercenary.

"Of course you would want me to," He scoffs, biting his lip in annoyance. "You're truly such a pleasant man to be around with, Saizo."

Saizo just wants the man to leave him alone, was that too much to ask? He lets out a harsh drawl. He did not take actual offense to Laslow's sarcasm but he still wanted the man to get drained from bantering with him."You're not the first one to insult me this way."

"Insult you?" A cynical laugh leaves Laslow's lips. "You're the one who exclaimed you wish Xander would kill me!" If his face was visible the profound scowl he had on his features would surely have stopped Laslow's dumb dispute.

"Do you truly believe Xander would kill you?" He whips his head to see Laslow's reaction and he is visibly caught off guard. Saizo hopes this will finally silence the man.

He spoke too soon.

"No, of course not. He couldn't live without me." He inhales the deep groggy air without regret. Perhaps if he was lucky enough the air would choke him and he'd fall unconscious, unable to hear Laslow's smug, damnable voice any longer.

There's the scratching sound of Laslow moving away and touching his hair, Saizo once again closing his eyes to ward him off. "I bet Peri is having a blast right now..."

Kagero too, but not in the same way. She seemed to enjoy the other woman's company, having someone so enthusiastic about drinking tea with her while at the same time complimented her probably raised Kagero's ego, even if she didn't seem the type. The cavalier's unusual hobbies didn't seem to cause Kagero distress, or the girl didn't show that side of her to the kunoichi. She did seem quite smitten with Kagero, so unlike and different from the two men who glared at each other in the dim balcony.

Saizo's thoughts trail back to his liege, even as much as he tried to shoot the thoughts away. The way he gazed at the Nohrian prince created a deep jealousy in Saizo, part of his anger at Laslow being that. The look was different from how Laslow beamed at Kagero before, a playful turn of his lips to clearly make the ninja uncomfortable. It seemed as if he yearned for the man, and Saizo's envy only increased when he saw Xander smile back, the feeling clearly mutual.

Ryoma had never directed such a gaze to him. The surge of anger, resentment, enviousness, and hatred he felt at the man's eyes being directed at someone else was something he could never voice to anyone but felt as deeply rooted in his being as his scar. It wasn't unheard of for a servant to develop an infatuation towards their master, Oboro quickly coming to mind. He wouldn't compare himself to her, though. She desired to copy Prince Takumi's look and she always spoke fondly of him. She was an annoyance, a prickly girl with a dumb crush.

It was easier for people to accept that, but Saizo having a fascination beyond camaraderie for his male lord would cause scandals, outrage. He was the leader of his clan, the disapproval his comrades would give him only made Saizo to continue bottling up his emotions. They would call him a disgrace, a bad influence. A failure who his father would look down upon, a bad influence to the their traditions.

He had never voiced that this was the only reason he and Kagero had begun a relationship as lovers long ago. It was the perfect most adequate way for their clans to look at them with fondness and pride. Kagero was the perfect match for Saizo, she matched his rhythm, complemented his ideals and was the only person who truly knew how to control him. There was noticeable shame and regret at hearing that she and him had broken it off, deciding it was better to act towards each other truthfully than continuing their performance. They couldn't continue to lie to each other that what they felt for each other was anything but devoted friendship. Laying in bed with her, both trying but failing to find a satisfied pact as they touched, was a mere memory in his mind that brought him no desire. He loved her, but as a companion, as his friend. It was a contrast to how he felt for Ryoma. Kagero seemed to feel this way as well. She never enjoyed men's presence in her personal life.

"Saizo." His thoughts are broken off as the slender womanizer steps beside him, a concerned expression on his usually conceited face. Seeing the distinctive look the man now gave him, different from the accusatory glare from before, lights a small flame in Saizo's former ramblings. When he fought with the man before he forgot about Ryoma, about his relationship with Xander. The man was an acceptable distraction.

He stands up abruptly, making Laslow flinch at the movement. His mouth opens before Saizo cuts him off, moving so closely to Laslow until their chests practically touch.

"A pierced ear. I never noticed."

There's a noticeable tint of pink at the ninja's sudden closeness to him, the question he was going to pose him with stuck on his lips. "You don't seem the kind of person who enjoys pain." Saizo continues as he examines the earring on Laslow's left ear. It was a strange sight to him to see people with man made features just like this, and he was sure it wasn't an usual aspect in Nohr's culture either. The exotic place Laslow descended from truthfully was a distinct land from Hoshido and Nohr.

He sees his Adam's apple move as he gulps in abrupt nervousness. Saizo wanted to continue watching his skittish contortion. "It was done when I was a mere baby; I wouldn't remember if it hurt."

Saizo is uncharacteristically curious, somehow calm now that he found a hanging point where he and Laslow could speak without barking insults at each other. "Is that common where you come from?" He watches leisurely as the man shakes his head.

"Apart from me none of my friends had any, so I wouldn't say it is..."

The shinobi blinks, uncertain about what else to ask. He hadn't expected the man to answer him so easily with how secretive he was of his past. It had seemed he and Laslow had reached a truce. The mercenary looks at him with apprehension, coughing on his fist. He seemed excessively tense but nonetheless stayed firm in front of Saizo. It seems none of the things he predicted of the man were correct.

After he seems to regain his natural voice he turned his head to the side at Saizo, a hand firmly placed on his hip. "What about your scar? If it's not intruding to ask..." Saizo stares at him without answering and he notices Laslow fidget, only bringing some sort of calmness in him.

"That's a tale for another time." Laslow seems apprehensive at his dismissive words, like he wished to complain that he had shared something about himself to him, but he doesn't, seeming to understand there was a difference between asking about his earring than from the intruding scar on Saizo's eye.

"Another time?" He asks and Saizo notices the man's mocking personality return. Bliss had lasted for too long it seemed. "So you will speak to me again, without hindrances in our relationship?" He sounds mildly anticipated at knowing Saizo's answer, but the ninja merely shrugs his shoulders lightly, truthfully unsure how to answer.

They spend a few hours exchanging stories of their lives as retainers, Laslow mostly contributing in long tales of Peri's being and Xander's approach towards his habits and responsibilities. Saizo stood quietly, all ears on him as he took in the useful information and knowledge he could acquire from this. All his past contemplation seem only follies as he realizes from him that Xander was strict with them, he only showed his exaggerated caring side in front of onlookers, and that he and Peri as well looked up dearly and courteously at Xander. When he hears Laslow say he wouldn't mind dying for him he feels the empathy only servants could feel towards each other. It seemed he had judged too soon, but from the man's sighing as he speaks of Peri he was sure he wasn't wrong about her being psychotic.

He enjoys the man's smiles, his resounding chuckles, the way he bit his lip when he closed his eyes as he remembered an unpleasant memory. The man was quite handsome and endearing when he wasn't being an annoyance.

Still, he knows he only sees Laslow as a replacement. Laslow shared looks with him that showed yearning and longing, like Ryoma stared at Xander. Unlike the person he truly cared for, Laslow did seem to have interest in him. With him he had a chance.

The air merely gets colder as they walk together back into the castle; Even if they had reached a reprieve in their relationship they still only longed to return to their lord's sides and to their jobs, Saizo more so than Laslow. They meet Kagero and Peri on the way, the women's hands intertwine as Peri giggles at her, a thin carefree smile on the kunoichi. Saizo felt a pit of contentment at seeing the smile Kagero only showed when she was truly happy. When the woman notices them, though, her hand lets go of Peri's, her cheeks uncharacteristically flushed. Peri pouts at her but continues to hold onto her toned arm. If Saizo was one to laugh he would chuckle at his dear partner's embarrassment.

They meet the crowned princes where they had last parted, Kagero and Saizo bowing to their liege as it was characteristic of them. Peri showers Xander and Laslow with descriptions of scenes about her day, Saizo noticing how Kagero flushed at the girl's words.

"It pleases me to hear you had an exceptional day. I hoped you did as well, Saizo." Being called by his name and hearing his prince's voice directed at him he straightens his posture, giving the man a nod. "Yes, milord. I would like to apologize for before, I should never doubt your orders given." 

The Hoshidan prince smiles and Saizo's chest constrict, the effect of his irregular thoughts taking a toll on him. It only gets worse when he sees how touchier he and Prince Xander are, the Nohrian's hand inched across the other man's hip, placed in a show of comfort and intimacy. Peri was smiling, Laslow was too. Even Kagero seemed upbeat over this respite. As always, all except Saizo.

He had thought his jealousy would minimize at speaking with Laslow but it only grew stronger as he glared over Xander's intimate looks towards Ryoma. Kagero seemed too focused on Peri to notice Saizo's fuming aura, his arms crossed harshly as he looks away from the scene. He needed to get back to Hoshido as soon as possible, _with Ryoma._ He felt his mental health depended on it. Spending so much time in Nohr seemed to have rubbed off on him, the darkness making its way internally throughout his body.

Laslow is the only one who notices Saizo's tense posture, his eyes wandering to the man's nails digging into his ribs. He only notices it get worse when Kagero asks if it was time for them to leave.

"Actually, I'll be staying in Nohr for a few days." Saizo feels his heart stop, hiding his apprehension from the group behind his mask. "We still have much to discuss, Lord Xander and I. Diplomacy between the two kingdoms takes time, it would be impossible for it to be fixed in one night. You and Saizo are free to leave without me." He tells Kagero, the loyal woman only nodding in understanding at him. 

One night. _One night._ And now he was going to spend more nights with the man, _in his bed._ Saizo couldn't be the only one who knew of their true relationship, hidden behind diplomatic discussions. Then again, he had always prided himself of being the most attentive person around.

"Aw, can Kagero stay with me as well?" The girl pleas at she gazes at the other woman, Kagero's eyes going wide before she shakes her head, disappointment and regret prevalent. "I would love to, Peri. But I have much work to do in Hoshido if Ryoma stays here."

She hurriedly encircles her arms around Peri when she notices the woman start to sob, already tears falling down her cheeks. Saizo ignores the scene, his head turned away from Ryoma. Laslow notices that Ryoma looks at him sadly when the man doesn't exchange farewells beyond a bow of his head, refusing to meet his eyes. Kagero and him understand that when he was angry it was impossible to regain his composure so he accepts the bow and dismisses them, Kagero letting go of Peri.

Saizo strides to the exit away from the prince, Kagero soon following. He didn't even had the decency of exchanging goodbyes with Laslow even though they had spent the whole day together. He looks at Xander and the man nods, allowing him to leave and follow the man.

"Kagero." He says when he catches up to the woman, stopping in her tracks to quizzically look at the man. "Is something the matter, Laslow?"

"Well, your prickly companion didn't even exchange a word of thanks to me even though I spent the whole day with his irritating self. At least I would have liked if he told me he enjoyed it as much as I did."

He sees the curious glint in Kagero's eyes, a small tug of her lips in her usual calm demeanor. She shouts for Saizo to come to them, having to drag the adult man as if he were a child who didn't want to say goodbye to his family. "Saizo." She starts and he already knows he's at her whims. "Laslow deserves a show of gratitude for having spended time with you today, why don't you please exchange courtesies with him?"

There's a noticeable low grunt from Saizo but next to Ryoma, Kagero's word was the most important. He gives Laslow a glance, the man smiling with anticipation at him as if he expected Saizo to shower him with compliments. 

When he looks at him he remembers all he had learned from the man today, the knowledge he gained from his stories. He had also left Saizo controlled and composed as he distracted him from his petty worries, from his love struck emotions. He was a man of honor, to leave the man who had accompanied him through out the day without a single word was a harsh blow even for him. He was taught well enough that he should grateful and trusting of his allies, but he didn't exactly see Laslow as merely an ally. 

He tells Kagero she can leave them and she obliges, moving swiftly away from them. Laslow seems like he's about to ask why he had dismissed Kagero so adamantly when there was no reason to before Saizo bows on his knees in front of him, leaving Laslow speechless.

"I apologize, I am grateful for your presence by my side today." Laslow wasn't sure how to take the sight of the ninja on his knees so he merely gives out a low chuckle. 

"You don't need to do that, Saizo." He responds as the man stands up, crossing his arms in his trademark pose. "I just wished for you to tell me if...you had enjoyed the day as I had."

The tint in his cheeks goes unnoticed by Saizo, trying to ignore the man's soft words. He had thought Laslow to be a distraction, a replacement. But now he wanted merely to leave and stay by himself, undesiring further contact with him. Just as he had calculated the man was interested in him unlike the man of his affections. He could listen to Laslow, he could play with him and use him to erase his memories of the other man. He was skeptical deep down because he surely did not want to stop loving the man, even with the indirect pain he caused him. As he looks at the man's craving eyes he feels he was at mercy to his desires, and he desperately needed to let them out. Laslow was perfect, too perfect.

He wasn't Ryoma, but he would do.

* * *

"Ah..." The dancer gasps, his hands balling into his fists against his head as he holds tightly onto the sheets. Saizo took that as an initiative to pound harder and he does so, pushing in deeper as the other man struggles against the intrusion but at the same time equally inching closer to receive more of him. 

There's an expression of utter bliss, of lust and desire, of wanting the man to continue, to enter harder and faster as he shuts his eyes close and moans loudly, the sound resounding against the chamber. Saizo grabs his thigh and places his leg over his shoulder to oblige the man, to give him what he so desired. He is gifted with a loud groan, a continuing sweat in his brow, hands and body as Saizo entered completely into him. He would have expected Laslow to hiss in pain at his leg being pushed against him but there were no complaints, only urgency, pleading for more. Somewhere in Saizo's conscience he had never expected the man to be so flexible. He might make a passable ninja if he so desired.

"S-Saizo..." He breaths out, his hands clenched so hard they seemed to grow red. Instead of going faster Saizo pulls himself out slowly, causing the man to whimper in need.

He didn't want to hear Laslow's voice calling his name, not when he was fantasizing about somebody else. Not when he shut his eyes close as the man mewled because he didn't want to see this man's face but another's. He felt guilt as he pushed in, the man so complacent and longing, while he only used his body to sweat off his anger, his frustrations, his sexual desire. Anyone could have done it for him, it just so happens he chose Laslow. 

He hadn't even taken his mask off which he had even done with Kagero when they had tried to made love long ago. There was nothing personal about this. He didn't see Laslow as anything but an acquaintance, even with the laughter he shared with him. Deep down, he truly hated he was taking advantage of the man's desire. Grasping his leg, wishing it was his prince's. Wishing the silver hair against the pillow was instead the man's brown mane spread out over the bed. Wishing the moans sounded deeper, rougher as his liege's surely did. The body beneath him was too thin, too slender for him to roam his hand and imagine it was the other man's. He kept his arm holding onto his leg, the other placed stiffly on the bed. Touching him could completely ruin the image he had already tried to form, imperfect as he couldn't stop the man from gasping when he entered him slowly, begin the cycle again.

When he feels his orgasm reach him, the man's clenching causing him to stir and pound deeper he fears, he fears that even with his mask on the man will hear him utter the name of the man he was instead imagining. A coarse mewl vibrates through his body and he couldn't take it anymore, not like this. He couldn't abandon the man's guidance, how he had helped him forget the man for so many hours. He doesn't want to betray him like this.

He pushes deeper, completely in when he growls his name out, the dancer's back arching at the thrust. He bucks his hips as he feels himself coming when the man does so inside of him, pushing every single drop of his substance into him.

The guilt stays but his back falls in release at knowing he hadn't committed such a grave sin, such a grave hindrance by cursing Ryoma's name in vain. He imagined he was spread out like this as well, but instead in the embrace of Prince Xander.

Somehow, gazing at the sheepish smile he has come to enjoy from the man beneath him he feels for once that he was fine with Ryoma being in the arms of another man. 


End file.
